What Is True Beauty? Discover Why Being Beautiful Isn’t About Good Looks
We are living through filters. Instagram, Snapchat, and even the cameras in our phones have pre-installed filters to make us look prettier. We spend so much time editing our photos with photoshop, one-click retouch apps, and presets to have the perfect pic with the perfect angle to be considered beautiful. But, what is the definition of true beauty?
Spending more than three-quarters of their day on social media and comparing ourselves has made us forget what true beauty really is. All we care about is hiding or correcting the flaws we believe to be unacceptable to society. So we are constantly improving little or big things on the outside.
We live in a fantasy lifestyle where everything is perfect and flawless and when filters are not enough, extreme measures have to be taken to still be considered beautiful. I’m talking about corrective and cosmetic surgery just to still be beautiful on the outside. We are living to impress people we don’t even know.
But the reality is, most women and men forget that true beauty is all about self-acceptance.
True Beauty Lies Within
Think for a moment. Who imposed all these so-called beauty standards? There is no one to blame except us. We were first bombarded in our childhood to have the perfect hairstyle, clean uniforms, nice iron clothes to make a good impression on others. Meaning you need to look good to impress the adults.
Then, we started noticing some people were taller or shorter than others, skinnier or heavier. Perhaps bullying about someone’s complexion was the norm for a long time just because they were different from what was the norm.
Magazines came next. What we all saw were tall, lean, good-looking models. Runways, commercials, and advertisements fell through that standard. And when social media exploded, apps like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, YouTube, and TikTok flooded us with nice images from perfect people from all around the world.
As we grew up, we started to feel guilty about being different from what we constantly saw. That’s where self-esteem is damaged because we lived for a very long time inside a beauty standard we were imposed. We learned to fit the mold and forget all about where true beauty lies and that’s within every one of us.
Gorgeous images have made us think what we see on the outside is all that matters but the reality is true beauty comes from within.
Embrace Your Beauty
I will keep repeating this through this post: true beauty lies within ourselves. It is so much more than your skin color, your body type, the makeup, and the clothes you wear.
Don’t fall into the trap of believing that beauty is about your facial shape or your dress size. It’s easier said than done but the first step to embracing your true beauty is to accept the way you are.
There is a fine line between changing for others and reaching for your own goals. If you decide you want to lose or gain weight, go ahead and do it! But first, you must decide to do it for you and you alone. You don’t need to impress your family, partner, or Instagram! Don’t even think about reaching for it if it’s just to meet a social goal or demand.
Make Peace With Your Inner Self
To radiate true beauty, you must first accept the way you are. Spend time with yourself and make peace with your inner being. This is not an easy process, especially if you have been comparing yourself for a very long time.
Start by acknowledging everything you don’t like about yourself. Perhaps you will come up with a huge list of things you consider to be ugly. It’s okay! The first step is always the harder. Create a list of all the things you like about yourself.
The good and the bad things can be physical aspects like your height, the way your nails are, scars, freckles, type of hair. But also consider other features like the way you smile or laugh, your habits, the way you speak, your tone of voice. These are just examples and you are the only one who knows yourself.
When you finish, look at your list. Is the first one larger than the second one? Don’t worry. Go through the bad things again and this time, really pay attention to each thing you wrote. Take time to realize why those things started to bother you. Is it because you were bullied about it in school? Or is it because you looked at that feature and decided it is not cool to have it because it is not within the beauty standards?
During this part of the process, it is okay if you feel hurt or shed a tear or two. Only by becoming aware of them and the feelings, we have around them is when we begin to move on and become stronger beings.
Sometimes we tend to make a tiny thing into a big one. For example, if you have a scar on your leg and don’t like it, chances are people didn’t notice it until you told them. So know that they are aware of that feature of yours, you worry about them constantly looking at it.
If this is your case, start looking at it as the tiny thing once was. Change your mindset around that feature and with time, you’ll see it was just a tiny thing that bothered only you.
On the other hand, if you decided you want to change something about yourself because you were bullied about it, think about why this special feature of yours bothered others. Don’t make other’s opinions change yours.
Remember to not allow the world to make you choose a part of your body that they think is most beautiful. You are a whole package so choosing one part is objectifying yourself to suit a certain beauty standard.
In both cases, if you want to change it with cosmetic or plastic surgery, go ahead and change it but remember that these changes need to come from you and not from the influence of other people.
Confidence Is The Key To True Beauty
Clothes, makeup, and accessories can make us feel good but they are not necessary when talking about true beauty. The only thing you need to wear to become truly beautiful is confidence.
Confidence is loving yourself unconditionally no matter what. Think of this as a primer. When you are doing your makeup, you need to prime your skin first before applying concealer or foundation. If the skin isn’t well prepared, even if you have the best makeup products and tools and are the most skilled makeup artists, the final result won’t stand out. That’s how confidence works. If you are confident, you will shine and be truly beautiful.
When you are confident, you can express yourself and your beliefs. Knowing who you are and accepting yourself is what confidence is all about. A beautiful human being is comfortable in its own skin.
My True Beauty Journey
I remember I have always been slim and tall. Some may think I had it all when it comes to looks. Throughout elementary school, I remember being a confident girl even when other friends were taller than me. The fact I was one of the tallest girls wasn’t even an issue even when I was given the nickname “giraffe”. I thought giraffes were beautiful animals because of their potential of seeing the horizon when other animals couldn’t. I made what would be considered a bad thing a good thing because I attached a good meaning. Every time I heard my nickname I was proud of it because I immediately thought I had something special that others couldn’t have.
But it all changed in high school. I remain taller and slim but I developed small breasts. I was bullied about it. You can imagine what boys told me: I had a girl’s body, I wasn’t sexy enough, I couldn’t rock a swimsuit or a cleavage. This made me feel really bad. It destroyed me completely.
My confidence disappeared. My self-esteem dropped drastically and despite the fact, people were complimenting me on my height or my slim body, I felt that wasn’t enough because of the beauty standards. I thought I was missing something to be sexy.
Since I have always loved fashion, I saw runways and magazines but somehow that wasn’t enough for me because at that time I knew I couldn’t become one of them to be socially acceptable.
Then I started noticing other so-called flaws in me. I have stretch marks on my cheeks so I started feeling bad every time I went swimming. I thought everybody would stare at them.
The same happened with the scars I have. I had eyebrow surgery when I was six months old. Naturally, as I grew up, the scar became larger and can be seen in the middle of my left eyebrow, or so I thought.
Another one that bothered me was the one I have in my right arm. I hated it. And also the ones on my feet, leg, and both knees.
Years went by and although people may see me as a happy woman, makeup and clothes only disguised how I felt on the inside. Until one day I decided to become the girl I was once.
How I Became Confident Again
I started noticing people didn’t even acknowledge my scars until I told them about them. I then realized they were small scars and went back to wear, skirts, dresses, heels, strapless, and heels.
With my eyebrow scar, I covered it with makeup, and the only time someone mentions it is when I go to get my eyebrows done. But now, I just brush it with a spoolie and that’s it. Really you can’t see it unless you come really close to me and stare at it.
With my stretch marks, the same happened. Unless people come really close and stare at my cheeks, they aren’t visible at all. So I went back to rocking those swimsuits whenever I went to the beach or the pool.
As for my breasts, I am now confident with the size of my boobs. Thanks to Instagram I discovered some accounts where women face the same issue and look absolutely gorgeous in their pictures. They don’t wear push-up bras or anything like that. They know the size of their breasts doesn’t determine their worth.
Do The Work To Thrive Your True Beauty
It’s your time to do the work. This isn’t a one-day process and suddenly tomorrow you’ll be super confident. If it does, congratulations and keep your confidence on point, If not, don’t worry, baby steps are acceptable.
Go ahead and make the changes you want! Whether they are superficial like a plastic surgery, a scar treatment, or body hair removal treatment like I did. Doing what you know will make you feel beautiful inside and outside. But don’t change because someone else is making you do it.
Sure, it’s okay to wear makeup, clothes, and shoes and to style your hair a certain way you like. But don’t use these elements as a disguise as I once did. Start accepting that freckle and scar. Take care of your body your own way.
Let’s stay away from social media-driven ideas of beauty and focus on embracing ourselves for who we are.
Remember, if you are beautiful on the inside, you are on the outside.
Also, see:
+ Everything You Need to Know About Self-Care
+ Mindfulness 101: Learn How to Bring Awareness Into Your Life
+ The Five Areas Of Self-Care You Should Focus On